Politically Incorrect Transcript

Politically Incorrect
January 1999

Bill: Let's meet our panel.The executive director of the Eagle Forum, Sheila Moloney. Sheila. [Applause] Nice to see you. One of the stars of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," on another channel, as we say, Tuesdays at 8:00 p.m., Nicholas Brendon. Nicholas. [Cheers and applause]

Nicholas: How you doing?

Bill: Thank you for coming. [The other guests (actor Adam West and actress Mackenzie Phillips) are introduced]

Bill:Okay. Look at this, the Batman credit card I was given.

Mackenzie: What can you buy with that?

Adam: Bill, you can go around the world. Uh --

Bill: I know what that means.

Adam: You can buy yourself a yacht.

Nicholas: Your book, perhaps, maybe.

Adam: My -- thank you for that.

Nicholas: You're very welcome, there.

Adam: I like this man. Buy my book, right.

Bill: All right, well, let's get to the issues. Now, this week, Bob Barr made a big splash in the news. He was a Congressman. He still is a Congressman, I hope for not much longer. And Larry Flynt, we were just doing a little parody of Larry [in the opening monologue].

[Compliments are exchanged about the monologue.]

Bill: Well, and what we're really showed is that abortion is the kind of issue, where if it's somebody else's, they're a baby killer
and they're awful. But when it's your case, you know, it's -- well, come on, you have to have some understanding. And there is a web site called the Nuremberg files. I don't know if you're aware of this, but what they do is, they put the names of abortion doctors.
And they -- when they're shot, they cross them off. Now, of course, the supporters of this say it's free speech. And my question is, how far does free speech go?

Nicholas: But we're guessing just shot and killed, correct? "I hit him in the knee!" Right?

Bill: Yeah. If they don't kill them, they only, like --

Nicholas: It's half a line?

Bill: Right.

Mackenzie:: But they also, on this, they don't just say -- they say "Here are the lists of the butchers."

Bill: Yes, they do.

Mackenzie:: So they're inciting violence. They're not just saying, "Here's a list of lovely gentlemen who might help you perform an abortion." They're saying, "Here are the butchers." And they give the address of their offices.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Oh, gosh. Is this a hit list?

Bill: And a list of where their kids go to school.

Adam: This is a hit list?

Nicholas: And hit only 12. Which, I mean, if you think about it, it's just horrible. I mean, not only stupid, but they can't -- they have no aim.

[More discussion]

Nicholas: Why can't we kill with two things -- let's kill with kindness --

Bill: Sorry, you're not supposed to say that.

Nicholas: 'Cause that's not legal. Is it?

Adam: The mob and certain South American dictators, probably Microsoft who had a hit list.

Sheila: Bill, you could also say that this serves a purpose. I mean, you've got web sites that now tell you that you live next door to a child molester. Why shouldn't you have a right to know you live next door to a guy who kills babies for a living?

Nicholas: Are you joking? Are you serious? Really?

Sheila: Yeah.

Nicholas: You're using Megan's Law against somebody who --

Mackenzie: But you think it's okay to say, "Here are the names of the butchers"?

Sheila: If that's accurately describing what they do.

Mackenzie: Oh, my gosh.

Nicholas: We're getting into semantics.

Sheila: This page, I think if violence comes out of it, then that is a horrible thing. And I in no way advocate that.

Adam: It's the ultimate hypocrisy.

Sheila: What about shame? I mean, these doctors make a pledge that they are going to -- they're supposed to make a pledge to help people.

Nicholas: It's not illegal. I mean, it's still legal in this -- I need my medication. I'm getting -- my heart's starting to go.

[All talk at once]

Sheila: No, but so these doctors who've made a pledge to help people for their lives go and, I believe, hurt people and kill innocent human beings.

Mackenzie: And what about the child that ends up living on the street because the mother couldn't provide for it?
What about the woman -- [Applause] And has to have a baby by a rapist?

Sheila: So we should just go shoot them in the head once they're born.

Mackenzie: No, that's what they're doing to the abortion doctors. They're going and killing them.

Sheila: But violence begets violence. I think all forms of violence are wrong.

Mackenzie: So they're saying "Here's the butchers" and you don't expect that to make violence?

Nicholas: Hey, I say why don't we start our own web page and let's list the abortion people, and let's start killing them, too. I mean, eye for eye, right?

Mackenzie: Yeah, baby. [Scattered applause]

Nicholas: I mean, it's that ridiculous.

[More discussion is held, then Bill brings up the inclusion of the schools the children of abortion doctors attend]

Bill: But what do you expect when they do this, when they list the addresses of these people, when they cross their names off the list, when they say where their kids go to school? Don't you see that as being --

Sheila: They don't say where their kids go to school.

Bill: They do.

Sheila: I just looked at it.

Bill: Even if they don't, it's still egregious. [Laughter] But they do.

Mackenzie: There you go.

Bill: I mean, I'm telling you they do.

Nicholas: What's the difference? I mean, it's like so basically we're going to shoot the doctor who's gonna, you know, have given abortionS or we're gonna list where his kid goes to school. I mean, why? So what, that you can kill that kid? The whole thing is ridiculous.

Sheila: I'm not advocating killing abortionists. I'm just saying recognize --

Bill: But it's easy to distance yourself from it by saying, "I'm not advocating it, but we do have this web site where, if you do it, we'll congratulate you and cross the name off."

Mackenzie: Do they even list the person who's actually performed the assassination?

Bill: That I probably --

Nicholas: That would be stupid, I think. Because then they're --

Mackenzie: Oh, yeah.

[More discussion is held. Sheila argues that those aborted are "human being"s.]

Sheila: A human being, like you and I were, is a human being.

Bill: But it's not like you and I.

[All start talking at once]

Nicholas: Do you remember being in your mommy's womb? Now, I'm a twin. And there were two of us. My mom's five feet tall. So we didn't have much room. And I don't recall that, to be honest with you.

Adam: Is your twin a little guy?

Sheila: Oh, okay. So if you can't remember something then we can kill you.

Bill: You always say you're protecting the unborn. Un-born.

Sheila: They're not born yet.

Bill: Doesn't that mean something, unborn? Doesn't that define something that is --

Sheila: Doesn't that mean that they're the most vulnerable type of people that there are.

Bill: No, it says they're not people yet.

Nicholas: It says they're not born.

[More discussion, then a commercial break. Bill changes the topic to a private organization that pays drug-addicted women to get sterilized.]

Mackenzie: Paying drug addicts to --

Sheila: Take the money then buy more drugs.

Nicholas: Well, right now, I'm a crack user. [Laughter] But I use crack with a "K," people, okay?

Mackenzie: It makes a difference, you know.

Nicholas: So I'm high as a kite, right, and, Adam, you come up to me and first give me your Batman card, and I say, "Thank you." And secondly, say, "Here, Nick, have 200 bucks to get sterilized." And I say, "Cool, I can get more crack."

Adam: Of course.

Nicholas: Now -- well, I'm a man. Say I'm a woman. Nicole.

Mackenzie: You're a woman, Nicole.

Nicholas: So then you get -- I think five years later, I want a kid. Man, I had a really screwed up life back then. Wait. I took $200 to buy crack.

Bill: Right.

Nicholas: It's horribly wrong, and it's sad that someone would even have that idea.

Adam: It's like people selling body parts.

Nicholas: They say this is a good idea. Because you know what?

Bill: Really? I'm for it.

Nicholas: Kids should be -- but kids should be like, like my kids. Like Bobby and Cindy. Bobby, Cindy, I think we're lost.

Adam: No, no.

Nicholas: People change. And the fact of the matter is --

Bill: But if you make that big of a mistake, do you really deserve that second chance?

Mackenzie: But they're also paying these women to get Norplant or to --

Nicholas: That's fine. Birth control is cool.

Sheila: Let's treat them like animals. Because we don't want riffraff like that around.

Nicholas: I am riffraff.

Mackenzie: I'm riffraff, too, because I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic. And I have an 11-year-old son. And I used while I was pregnant. And that's something that my son knows about, and that's something that we've discussed. And that's something that speaks to the absolute desperation of the disease of alcoholism.

Nicholas: It is a disease.

Mackenzie: It's an absolute -- it's a desperate situation.

Sheila: You love your son, right?

Mackenzie: I absolutely love my son.

Sheila: Do you wish they would have sterilized you when you were having --

Mackenzie: No, I certainly don't.

Sheila: Talk about not caring --

Mackenzie: Wait, we're not talking about what kind of women these are. Are these women who are chronic relapsers? Are these women who are dropping babies left and right that die on the streets?

Bill: Yes.

Mackenzie: I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

Adam: Three times and you're out maybe here, huh?

Nicholas: Why don't we hire -- 'cause Lord knows there are people who need jobs. Why don't they hire little teenage boys and girls to follow people around with condoms. So they have to have protected sex.

[ Talking at once ]

Sheila: You're missing the whole problem. These are drug addicts. So instead of solving the problem and caring for the people, we're just saying, "Well, let's just sterilize them. Because, you know, we don't want more of them."

Bill: If you are so irresponsible that you would have a baby, it's bad enough that you're addicted to crack, but you would have a
baby addicted to crack, don't you think that demands some measures?

Sheila: I'm sorry, but I guess I see that the gift of life is a gift to you and, yes, perhaps you shouldn't have --

Mackenzie: Have you seen these crack babies? Have you seen the footage of these --

Sheila: Are we going to kill those, too?

Mackenzie: I'm not saying that I think that this is necessarily right or wrong. I'm saying that these women should be offered treatment. And if they're chronically relapsing --

Sheila: Sterilize them?

Mackenzie: I'm not talking about treatment for addiction and alcoholism.

Sheila: I totally agree.

Mackenzie: I'm screaming at you and I apologize for that. I'm a little passionate about it.

Nicholas: I'm next.

[ Talking at once ]

Bill: Hey, wait! Shut up, everybody's talking at once.

[ Laughter ]

Adam: Otherwise you're selling body parts, it's the same thing really.

Mackenzie: You think?

Nicholas: Has it happened to you before?

Sheila: Why aren't you neutering all the men? Why is it the women, huh? [ Scattered applause ] Why are we the guinea pigs for your little social experiment?

Adam: I've sold several body parts.

Nicholas: Good. All right, man, I'm a big fan of yours.

Bill: Men don't give babies. Men can't have babies.

Nicholas: We help the process and have a good time.

Bill: I believe she also --

Adam: Irresponsibility is part of the disease.

Bill: Right.

Adam: That hopefully we can find a way to cure. As you obviously were cured or cured yourself, whatever, willpower or whatever device you used or method.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Or method.

Nicholas: Drugs.

Adam: Other drugs.

Mackenzie: Very funny, Nick.

Nicholas: Thank you.

Bill: Isn't the quality of life just as precious as life itself, if not more? I mean, life itself -- [ Applause ]

Nicholas: Yeah, Bill.

Bill: Seems to be terribly easy to come by. But quality --

Sheila: So you're gonna go around snuffing out all the people who you don't see that they have a quality of life.

Nicholas: See, it's not that black and white, though.

[ Talking at once ]

Yeah, maybe some yes, maybe some no. But we can't have a conversation here in 24 minutes saying, well, it's gonna be this way or this way. There's a little middle ground. There's color TV now. Few years ago there wasn't. We have color.

Mackenzie: These must be women who are chronic relapsers.

Nicholas: There are many ways to look at this.

Mackenzie: Women who are having children, women who are prostitutes, women who are spreading disease. Women who are having children with HIV. You know? We don't know the specifics of this. We know sort of the outline of the question, but we don't really know what the root of this is.

Bill: That's the way we're gonna keep it. We'll be right back. We'll take a commercial.

Bill: Okay. Now I know we're talking about some subjects that were very heavy and very disturbing. But I have one here now --

Nicholas: This is the most heavy.

Bill: I think this is even more disturbing. There is a new theme park, I guess you'd call it, like Hard Rock Cafe, all those places, okay. This is like Disney Land, a place where you go, you pay 50 bucks. It's called Tinseltown. And the object of it is that anybody can go and be treated like a movie star. They have hired people there to treat you like a movie star. People who pretend they're paparazzi, they're autograph seekers. And you're there -- for 50 bucks. You're there on Oscar night --

Mackenzie: They even have -- they have screaming fans?

Bill: Right, they have reporters shouting questions, "What's your next project?" [ Laughter ] "Who are you romantically involved with?"

Nicholas: They actually have one who fondles you. Like, people fondle you.

Bill: And fondle you. For an extra 20 bucks you can get a --

Adam: How serious do the stalkers have to be?

Bill: I don't know, but I mean, is this not a disturbing thing?

Nicholas: How much does it cost? 'Cause I'm there, man. 'Cause I need to be treated like a star.

Mackenzie: It's $45, the admission.

Bill: $45.

Nicholas: $45. Do you get a mug? A coffee mug with that?

Bill: No.

Mackenzie: We have a --

Bill: Because you're a star.

Nicholas: You're a star, baby, you're a star.

Bill: You wouldn't need a coffee mug.

Nicholas: Call me.

Adam: I think there's a problem here.

Bill: What is it?

Adam: It's one of balance. They sell you a ticket, maybe, the family for a day to be treated like a star, a celebrity, for a day, two hours. The balance is wrong, because they will never know what it's like to be a celebrity until they buy a ticket for two to three years. [ Laughter ]

Nicholas: Every day? Are we talking like --

Adam: Yes, every day.

Mackenzie: But wait a minute.

Nicholas: Maybe that's why they don't put a park out, think about it.

Bill: You're saying there's a down side?

Adam: There's a down side.

Bill: Which is?

Adam: They have to spend two or three years at Tinseltown to really know --

Nicholas: But, no, no --

Adam: To really know what it's like to be a celebrity.

Mackenzie: No, the up side is that they don't ever have to work.

Bill: Yeah.

Mackenzie: They just go there and hang out and get treated like stars. They don't have to stand out in the rain.

Bill: It's so narcissistic. It's like a --

Sheila: Thank you. I agree.

Nicholas: Well, you're thinking narcissism, narcissism.

Sheila: Well, it's just so shallow. And it's like fame for fantasy.

Mackenzie: Yeah, but this country is fascinated with celebrities.

Nicholas: See, I would go to Tinseltown, not because of the star --

Adam: It's a culture driven by celebrityhood, in a sense.

Nicholas: But because of the craft. Because I truly believe in it. [ Laughter ]

Bill: The people who are playing the people who are mobbing the people who go to the park are themselves out-of-work
actors.

Adam: Right. Right.

Mackenzie: It's so sad.

[ All talking at once ]

Nicholas: Every day they had like a $1,000 giveaway, where the people who are mobbing these people, they have like a hidden celebrity. And the first person to find them got some money.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Would you volunteer?

Mackenzie: My son wants to go to Tinseltown. And I'm thinking, "I can't take him to Tinseltown." I can't take my kid to Tinseltown.

Bill: You shouldn't take your kid to Tinseltown.

Mackenzie: He read the article in "The New York Times."

Sheila: Your son reads "The New York Times" at 11?

Mackenzie: Yeah. I have a really bright kid.

Bill: He read what?

Mackenzie: "The New York Times".

Nicholas: Do you guys all read here?

Mackenzie: Yeah. [ Laughter ]

Bill: But it -- doesn't it sort of give the message that there's a disconnect between hard work and achievement?
I know it doesn't look like celebrities work hard to get where they are, but I mean, you know, everybody here did.
Everybody knocked around and knocked on the --

Sheila: Yeah.

Bill: What?

Nicholas: I knocked on some people.

Adam: And you know, like you said, you could work at Tinseltown and be one of the paparazzi, and knock around for awhile
and maybe get discovered, you know. But I'm sure that's a dream. We are amusing ourselves to death.

Bill: Right.

Adam: We have theme parks of every possible disguise and flavor. And I don't know what's gonna happen. This will become one huge amusement park.

Nicholas: Did you ride your coaster over at Six Flags?

Adam: Damn right.

Nicholas: Have ya?

Adam: Why?

Nicholas: Well, 'cause there's actually, over in Tinseltown, there's gonna be a Xander ride. It's a whirligig of fun. Yeah, that's my character's name, Bill, in case you didn't know that.

Bill: We have to take a commercial. [Applause]

Bill: All right. I only have a little time. We're talking about people who want the experience of being a celebrity. Let me ask these celebrities, did you ever have sex in a limo? Yes or no?

Mackenzie: Yes.

Nicholas: Yes.

Bill: Batman?

Adam: Only in Tinseltown.

[A bit more discussion, then the show ends.]